The Best Desk Scenario



Episode 7

Air Date: May 13, 1981 Written By: Juanita Barlett and Stephen J. Cannell

Directed By: Arnold Laven

Bill is in the desert reading the funeral notices when Ralph drives up. They are to practice with the suit. Pam was unable to come and Ralph forgot the snacks she made. Bill believes that Ralph has the ability of perkiness; the ability to start and control fires, and Ralph tries to use it to set a bush on fire but ends up setting Bill’s car aflame.

Pam is in a restaurant with her boss; Clarence Carter. He tells her that he would like to make her a junior partner and she accepts.

At Whitney High Ralph is voted temporary vice principal by the student body. He is to handle discipline and gets a new office. The first student sent to him is Tony.

At the federal building Bill meets Palmer Bradshaw; the new, much younger senior inspector. In his apartment Bill becomes depressed thinking how he is still at his same job while Ralph and Pam are getting promoted.

Pam and Carter ride back to the office in his limo they are ambushed by two armed, masked men. One of the men threatens Carter, telling him that buying off the commission is a bad idea, Springsong can not stand the investigation, and people in Tucson are not happy with him. Though Carter tells Pam not to read too much in to it she is worried.

Pam calls Ralph and Bill to meet with her and they are waiting at Ralph’s house. Bill is depressed because the last senior inspector died of a heart attack and he was the same age of Bill. Bill is thinking about retiring and moving to Oregon. Ralph tried to encourage him not to retire telling him that they were meant to work together and use the suit to make the world better.

Pam arrives and tells them what happens. They go to Carter, Bradley, and Smith; Pam’s law firm.

Meanwhile, the two call their boss and tell him that his threat has been deliver to Carter with his daughter; May, watching. Their boss tells them that May lives in London and that the woman they saw was a witness. They go to the law firm to find out who she was.

Inside the law firm Ralph, Bill, and Pam look through Carter’s office. Ralph uses his hat to holograph on a file only to find that it has already been found by Pam and Bill. They go through and find that Springsong is a record company and the president is a man named Chuck Hagmen. The rest of the file is in the basement of the building. Pam leaves ahead of the others and is kidnapped by the two men.

Ralph goes out the window and flies towards the men who take Pam in to a car. As he chases them he uses his pyrokiness to blow out one of the tires. He then captures the men.

Bill takes the two men in and once they start to talk about Ralph and his powers they are deemed insane and taken away in straightjackets. Bradshaw reprimands Bill for taking a case outside federal jurisdiction.

Bill meets Ralph and Pam in a restaurant and talk about the case. Pam thinks that the file is most likely being kept in the vault and Carter’s secretary has a key. While Bill suggests that she makes a wax duplicate Ralph counters by advising to let him rip the vault open.

Next day, Pam is about to pick up by Ralph when she is approached by Carter who is at first friendly then he kidnaps her. Ralph arrives after and seeing her car in the driveway realizes that Pam has been kidnapped.

Bill picks him up and informs him that he ran a check on Chuck Hagman. He is a businessman with ties to the mob who wanted to buy the Desert Sun Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. Carter tried to bribed the gaming commission which brought an investigation the mob boss in Tucson did not want to happen. They arrive at Hagmen’s mansion to question him but find him dead in his pool.

Soon after, Bradshaw once again reprimands Bill over jurisdiction and takes him off the case.

Spencer; the mob boss, arrives at Carter’s place where Pam is being held. She tells them that she told Ralph about what is going on.

Ralph uses a picture of Pam to holograph on someone using the phone. It turns out that the person is calling him. It is Carter who wants to meet him alone in a junkyard.

Ralph and Bill drive there and as the crooks spring a trap a shootout between them and Bill ensures. Ralph changes in to the suit and fights the criminals. A man operating a giant magnet drops a car on Ralph but he is unharmed and climbs out the trunk. Spencer and his men tried to escape but Ralph and Bill block their way. Joyful that everyone is alright Ralph and Pam kiss.

Later, Ralph and Pam are at the high school talking about Ralph’s new job. If he does well enough it may be permanent and he shows her his new office. Bill joins them in his fishing gear and informs them that Bradshaw is taking him to cabin his family owns. Also, Bradshaw will soon be heading to Washington D.C. and Bill possibly may join him. He thinks that Ralph and Pam should join him and they would use the suit there. Ralph say No and they argue about it.